into my pocket

I want to put you away, into my pocket,

I know you won’t be happy there  nestled underneath the lint and hair

yet all I want is to keep you there, so that you can’t leave me.

The hurt is here and I’m unaware that you’re cries are being formed.

But instead of looking in towards, I realized I’m being warned.

That my love for you is toxic to ever being able to

keep you here enclosed with me

and instead i let you go

and oh my dear god oh

I’m left with a hole

a hole in my pocket that was already void of any lining

a cruel cruel fucking joke on me.

 

All written content © 2012-2013 Helenna Santos-Levy

the assassination

Goddamn this is messy.

This snake inside of me that twits violently, the devil clutching my silver tongue.

What a moment I find myself in:

lost and churning, aching, burning, waiting for a release that never comes.

I stepped into this willingly.

A lamb being lead to slaughter in front of a firing squad.

Snipers aiming at my head and I stand here arms open, feet bound,

and head hung low waiting for that silent trigger.

Bang.

I don’t even hear it. I don’t even feel it. And here I am.

Heart left splattered on the white bedroom wall.

All written content © 2012-2013 Helenna Santos-Levy